February 2012
5 tags
1 tag
tanyabaxter:
It doesn’t matter if I have friends or not, I am a successful African American female.
AMBER ALERT: about a month ago, my mother seemed to misplace her favorite laundry basket. it’s one of the two newer ones that we have. it’s white with gray on the handles. she brings it up every day, wondering where it went. her kids, husband, and dogs do not know the location of this basket. she thinks we are pranking her and hiding it. we are not. we’ve searched the entire...
in fourth grade on ash wednesday i told my teacher she had dirt on her forehead
Abby Lee Miller is a sweet delicate angel of movement and dance.
Me: We complete each other's
Netflix: Sentences.
Me: :)
Netflix: :)
4 tags
Watchmikerowsoft:
heres a video of me making better music than skrillex
tamingofthehebrew:
none of my text posts are mine i just type what jesus whispers to me
1 tag
wakes up late: yolo
fails test: yolo
embarrasses self publicly: yolo
loses virginity: yolo
murders someone: yolo
is on americas most wanted: yolo
goes to jail: yolo
is on death row: yolo
gets executed: yolo
3 tags
The girl wears black converse with her prom dress. She breaks social barriers and receives roaring applause from her classmates. From the ceiling comes Avril Lavigne. The music stops. She floats to the ground and personally congratulates the girl for defying the norm. They ride away together on pink skateboards to the nearest Hot Topic where they buy new Invader Zim t-shirts to celebrate the...
2 tags
if i had a dollar for every 11 year old that tried to ruin the hunger games for me i’d have 2 dollars thus far
whitney houston’s body is buried walking distance from my house so if anyone wants to come over bring a shovel
1 tag
youbigtourist replied to your post: i’m dreading 12/21/12 because when the world…
i hope the world does end just to spite everyone
i hope the world doesn’t end but as soon as someone makes a post-apocalyptic joke, they die
only the strong survive
i’m dreading 12/21/12 because when the world doesn’t end i don’t think i’ll be able to handle all the “jokes” i’ll have to stay off the internet for a week and also avoid the mall because there’s gonna be shirts that are like “i survived the apocalypse lol SWAG!” and i’m just gonna die
4 tags
turns out you can strike up conversation with guys in starbucks by exclaiming “i want to skin her face and wear it as a mask” to your friends
Hello. My name is Jonathan Franzen. I’d like to order 50 pizzas. It’s for a prank.
Tonight I unintentionally got two of my friends to add yolo to their vocabulary. Last name yolo, first name yolo.
Reverend Howell, founder of Pawnee, Indiana, had a micropenis. You should all be reading “Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America” so you can be enlightened with facts like this.
1 tag
barrel-jumping:
that ugh this will take a few moments of my life and not be at all worth it sigh after someone says they want you to watch some funny youtube video
bigtimerussian:
No one understands my middle class tortured teenage soul
3 tags
i can’t even get over last night’s snl i need to watch it again
shout out to justin timberlake for being hilarious and a good actor and attractive
1 tag
textposter:
i regret ever leaving the womb
it’s the time of day where i can’t move but i need to move so i can sleep in my bed